Death Stare

This week we are celebrating our Canadian comrades. We’ve got our first couple at the door — let’s welcome them to the party.

bored

We thought we’d kick off the celebration with a bit of spunk and enthusiasm.

Enthusiasm, death stare, same thing.

*******

Woman: You are not welcome here.

ME: Well, likewise sista. This is MY party. And I invited spunk and enthusiasm. How’d you get through the door?

Woman: Doesn’t matter now. I’m here and I saw you staring at my man.

ME: No. I think you’ve mistaken me with someone else. See that girl over there by the bookcase? SHE was staring down your man.

the book of love

(From our archives: Library Love)

Death Stare glides across the room toward the bookcase.

Whew. She was a buzzkill.

Oh, and pardon me!

I forgot to introduce our celebration host and hostess!

They might look familiar if you’ve been celebrating with us for awhile, but just in case this is the first time you’ve joined us, let me introduce you to:

Spunk & Enthusiasm

(aka “Like Omigod, We’re Like Engaged”)

Like, oh my gosh, we are like engaged!

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Pucker Up

Pucker Up

Man: Am I doing it right?

Woman: No! You have to channel your inner Top Model.

Man: Oh, okay. Like this then?

Woman: You’ve sorta got the pucker right…now let your eyes make love to the camera.

Man: This just feels all wrong.

ME: Yes, yes it does. For so many reasons. By the way, Woman, you’re flaunting the wrong hand.

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Don’t Believe Us

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He Put A Ring On It Yo

Touchy Feely

Touchy Feely

Hand Check!

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Wait, What?

wait what

Man: “Wait. What?”

Woman: “It’s true honey. We’re engaged.”

Man: “You’ve got to be #$%#$ kidding me. How did this happen?”

Woman: “Well…I was a single lady and you liked it so you put a ring on it.”

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Like, omigod! We’re like, engaged!

Shower Shout-Outs

It’s in the Details!

No photo today, but we’ve got a whopper of an announcement with fabulous details to share with you. We’ve taken out much of this novel of an announcement (to view the whole thing click here), but we’ve left our favorite parts below. Enjoy these beautiful details adorned by cascading greenery.

“The beautiful wedding chapel in Troy was the setting for the recent evening wedding of Lauren Casey Billingsley and Timothy Alan Davidson, both of Union City. . .

Let’s just skip to the reception that’s the fun part of the day anyway…

RECEPTION

“The Moffatt Centré in Troy was the setting for a reception. The tables were draped with white linen tablecloths and illuminating hurricane vases accented with truffle ribbon and votive candles.

“A buffet-style table was set up with an assortment of finger foods, which consisted of pork tenderloin, sweet and sour chicken, deli-style crescent sandwiches, various fresh vegetables and fruits with an array of dips, a variety of cheeses and crackers and chips and dip.

(So glad the dips got a shout-out twice, they might have felt bad if they weren’t included.)

“The centerpiece for the food table (Wow, we are really going there huh?) was a large arrangement of various summer flowers with greenery cascading over a beautiful vase. . .

Skipping a lot here, if you want to read about the REHEARSAL DINNER, click the link above to the full announcement).

And now for more unnecessary shout-outs….yup, they included a list of each wedding shower held in their honor…whoa.

“HOME DECOR SHOWER A home decor shower was held at the home of Linda Robinson of Union City, friend of the groom’s mother. Guests enjoyed a variety of finger foods and banana punch. Special guests included the bride’s mother and the groom’s mother and grandmother.

LUAU-THEMED SHOWER A luau-themed shower was held at the home of Brittany Carter. Guests enjoyed a variety of fresh fruits, a Hawaiian pineapple cake and fresh lemonade. A money tree was provided for the couple to enjoy on their honeymoon. The bride’s mother was as a special guest.

MISCELLANEOUS SHOWER A miscellaneous shower was given by the employees at the Union City Doctor’s Clinic. Guests enjoyed a variety of homemade dishes and tea. Special guest was the mother of the bride.

MISCELLANEOUS SHOWER Another miscellaneous shower was hosted by the bride’s co-workers at Dr. Jordan and Bondurant’s office. Guests were served a variety of finger foods and cake.

LINGERIE SHOWER A lingerie shower was held at the home of Amanda Bell. Guests were treated to finger foods, consisting of a variety of chips and dip, dipping breads and cake.”

Aren’t they going to mention any special guests at this one? Perhaps a fireman?

COMMENT

Playground Love

playground

One giant WTF to this Playground Posse!

Seriously, where do we start!?

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Tree Hugger

tree hugger

What is it about tree trunks? Really. We’d like to know.

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She ain’t heavy, She’s my fiancé

Leap Frog Fail

She’s not that heavy dude — really. Help a sister out.

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(From the Aug. 28th issue of the Bismarck Tribune)

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The Piggy Back

Head Over Heels

Bottoms Up

bottomsup

Man: “I’ll take this one.”

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Bridal Booze

bridal booze

We love when folks mix guns, booze and engagement announcements.

Throw in a few costumes and the formula is complete.

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Time Warp

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