Criminal Couple
Breaking from the norm a bit today to bring you this awesomeness. Not a newspaper announcement, but this is an actual wedding invitation a co-worker of mine received recently.
In case you can’t read the text at the bottom of the flier it reads, “Last seen living together in an abandoned funeral home.”
AWESOME.
What Is She Hiding?
What do you think is going on in this wedding announcement?
A. She just stole the remote and won’t give it back.
B. She’s holding the back of her dress together because it ripped when someone stepped on her train.
C. She doesn’t realize her husband is a vampire and ready to bite.
D. Something else entirely — Tell us in the comments!
Jubilation
Oh so enthused.
There’s nothing we love more than happy couples! Okay, maybe we love costumed couples more, but who’s keeping track?
Disappointed Duo
Not just anyone can pull off the serious look. These guys look supremely peeved. What’d you do? Buy them another toaster?! Gees. How could you?
To see more couples try out the serious look, check out:
Flower Power
This week we are celebrating our Canadian comrades. The party started Monday, but we’ve got a great guest list and you’re on it. Come on in!
They say everyone has a soul mate,
I think this engagement announcement is the proof.
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Peek-A-Boo
If you’ve just joined us, this week we are celebrating our Canadian comrades. The party started yesterday, but it looks like you’ve arrived fashionably late! Don’t worry, you haven’t missed much — just our first couple and they sure were moody.
I just heard a knock on the door…let’s see who’s here.
Me (Peeking my head out the door): Hello? Who’s here?
Man (from behind the tree): Peek-a-Boo, it’s me! Hi-ya!
Woman: And me!
Me: Well hello to you as well! You startled me popping out of nowhere like that!
Woman: Oh, sorry sweetie! Look we brought you a gift!
Me: Uh..the tree? Thank you, but I don’t think we have room; we already have a few in here already. Can you leave it on the porch?
Man: Sure, no problem-o!
Me: Come on in then already. Let me introduce you to a few peeps you might have something in common with:
First we’ve got the Tree Huggers (from our archives)
And also, please meet You, Me & A Tree (from our archives)
Death Stare
This week we are celebrating our Canadian comrades. We’ve got our first couple at the door — let’s welcome them to the party.
We thought we’d kick off the celebration with a bit of spunk and enthusiasm.
Enthusiasm, death stare, same thing.
*******
Woman: You are not welcome here.
ME: Well, likewise sista. This is MY party. And I invited spunk and enthusiasm. How’d you get through the door?
Woman: Doesn’t matter now. I’m here and I saw you staring at my man.
ME: No. I think you’ve mistaken me with someone else. See that girl over there by the bookcase? SHE was staring down your man.
(From our archives: Library Love)
Death Stare glides across the room toward the bookcase.
Whew. She was a buzzkill.
Oh, and pardon me!
I forgot to introduce our celebration host and hostess!
They might look familiar if you’ve been celebrating with us for awhile, but just in case this is the first time you’ve joined us, let me introduce you to:
Spunk & Enthusiasm
(aka “Like Omigod, We’re Like Engaged”)
Pucker Up
Man: Am I doing it right?
Woman: No! You have to channel your inner Top Model.
Man: Oh, okay. Like this then?
Woman: You’ve sorta got the pucker right…now let your eyes make love to the camera.
Man: This just feels all wrong.
ME: Yes, yes it does. For so many reasons. By the way, Woman, you’re flaunting the wrong hand.
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